There is nothing more unnatural than when an ex-husband wants to take the child away from the mother. This action will bring nothing but colossal harm to all participants in the drama, but for the child in the first place. After all, what can a father give a child who is offended by his mother? Only their complexes and psychological trauma, their resentment and anger. And this is always reflected in a catastrophic way on the psyche of the child, no matter what gender or age he is. Therefore, it is necessary to make every effort so that the father does not take the child by force.
Why are there husbands who want to take children away from their mother?
Why does the ex-husband slander and call the mother of his children, and also threaten to take the child?
What to say to the child if the ex-husband wants to take him away?
What to do if the husband threatens to take the child?
Thousands of cases in the courts, hundreds of stories on the Internet - and each of them is a small tragedy at the cost of a whole crippled life. When a husband, after a divorce, threatens to take the child away or even has already taken him by force, it is like a crime against nature itself, but, nevertheless, this happens in our world.
It seems that all such stories must be very diverse and the reasons for the behavior of ex-husbands are different. But no, it's just the opposite. All men in this situation are similar, like two drops of water. Stubborn, with a rigid psyche, foul language. And although they all claim as one that they want to take the child away only because the ex-wife is a negligent and bad mother, in fact this is just a cover for the realization of their revenge in response to the insult.
To slander and defame - the methods of offended ex-husbands
How often do we mothers become unarmed against ex-husbands who want to take their children away. Under the flood of dirty accusations that are pouring in our direction, under name-calling and threats, under meanness and baseness, we simply have nothing to oppose to our opponent. Sometimes, in response, they simply give up, apathy and longing set in, it seems that if you hide in a corner and remain silent, then everything will somehow pass. Or we try to exhort the ex-husband, to persuade and offer explanations.
Both in the first and in the second act, we make a gross mistake, which will cost us dearly. Simply because he will not stop there and will continue his threats, and then move from words to action. Therefore, it is necessary to understand why the ex-husband does this in order to be able to protect himself from him.
So who is the man who wants to take the child away? It is always a man with an anal vector in a state of resentment. The most severe painful condition turns this, perhaps not the worst person, literally into a devil, capable of the meanest and meanest actions and words.
The fact is that anal people by nature have a very good memory, and, offended, conserve this state, only increasing it over time. In family relationships, he can be offended by his wife for anything, but the biggest offense will be due to treason.
Having harbored a grudge, the anal man begins to try to compensate for it with revenge. It looks especially scary with an unrealized anal vector, because it is expressed in sadism - verbal (a person begins to call names toilet vocabulary) or physical (through beatings). Moreover, he tries to "dirty" his offender, in this case, his wife. At the same time, nothing will stop him: he will diligently and persistently find an opportunity to throw mud at, cheat, slander.
For an anal person in a developed, realized state, children are sacred. For them, he goes to work, he devotes all his day off to them. Analniks are wonderful dads who love their children with all their heart and soul. But in a state of revenge and resentment, they are completely different. They cannot and do not want to convey anything but their grievances and frustrations to their children.
Such an ex-husband dreams of taking the child away for one reason - to annoy the woman who offended him as much as possible. At the same time, the state of harm that will be done to the psyche of the child is not taken into account by such fathers.
For a woman who is faced with such a problem, it is necessary to understand that she needs to protect herself and the child.
Father is not a bad person, he just is
How often you can hear sad stories that the daughter exactly repeats the fate of the mother, who did not work out very well. Like a mother - a daughter gets divorced, like a mother - sues her ex-husband for children, etc.
In the old days they said that this is such a bitter fate, which is passed down from generation to generation. Today we understand that the problem is not in fate, but in those psychological traumas that parents inflict on their children in the heat of a showdown between themselves. When a husband wants to sue a child, when he comes with vile and dirty accusations, a woman really wants to throw out her problems somewhere. And children always come across under the arm - she complains to them, she passes on her bad states to them. And it becomes easier for her, especially if the child actively takes her side.
But while it is easier for her, what happens to the child's psyche? But at such moments he is taught to hate his own father, a stereotype is created for the future, complexes and fears are set. How this will affect the future life depends on the vector set of the child. For example, if this is a daughter with the same set of vectors as her mother, skin-visual, then she can really repeat the fate of her mother - she will unconsciously marry her husband for exactly the same anal frustration, and then she will suffer from his attacks.
But it may be different, say, if the daughter has an anal vector, then she will develop resentment against her father for her mother. In adulthood, she may express herself in dislike for all men, it may be difficult for her to create her own destiny, because all men will be her own ...
Visual and girls and boys from violent divorces and showdowns between parents may have problems, expressed in shyness, fears and phobias, self-doubt. The visual child may for the rest of his life be deprived of the opportunity to form any kind of close emotional relationship at all, if in early childhood he became a constant witness to quarrels between mom and dad.
The behavior of the mother, if she hides behind the child, may push him away. Then, especially for boys with an anal vector, a scenario of resentment towards the mother may be laid down. In adult life, such a boy runs the risk of repeating the fate of his father - he himself will be offended by ex-wife and take her children away.
Our own divorce and problems with an ex-husband are a lot of stress and tragedy, but this does not mean that the child's life should also be ruined. No need to pour out your anger and resentment on the child.
If there is no agreement between the spouses or if it is established that this agreement violates the interests of the children or one of the spouses, the court independently determines with which parent the minor children will live after the divorce and establishes the procedure for communication between parents and children.
The ex-husband does not give up the child: how to protect the rights of the mother
In the case when a child was taken by an ex-husband who leads an unhealthy lifestyle, which threatens the physical health, development and life of the child, the mother can take him away without waiting for a court decision, with the help of guardianship and guardianship authorities. After that, the guardianship authorities initiate a lawsuit to deprive or restrict the father of parental rights. In the case when the ex-husband does not comply with the court decision and does not give up the child, whose residence is determined with the mother, civil law provides for the application of appropriate measures in relation to the man, based on the application of the mother of the child. In this case, the issue of transferring the child to the mother is decided in court. But, she must fulfill her parental duties especially carefully and be an example.
What to do if the husband does not give the child before the divorce
Answer: You can pick up a child through the guardianship authorities. After the trial, the guardianship authorities themselves will sue for the award of the child to the mother.
The ex-husband does not give the child, how to pick up the child
If a man does not comply with the court decision and does not intend to return the child, despite the fact that the residence of the latter is determined with the mother, the law provides for appropriate measures against the father on the basis of the application submitted by the mother. The question is how the woman can take the child. It goes without saying that a woman must strictly fulfill the duties of a parent and be a role model.
The commandments of a mother in the war for a child
If you decide to stay in the country, write a statement to the border service of the FSB of Russia with a request to temporarily restrict the child from traveling abroad. During the acute phase of confrontation, it is better to transfer the child to home schooling, to abandon sections and circles. Talk to the teachers, write a statement indicating all the persons who can pick up the child from the educational institution.
file a claim, but for now, persuade them to give it away, or you can come and pick up the children, because you are their mother, and probably the place of residence of the children is determined with you. besides, the children probably go to preschool. then you have equal rights, but to prevent such situations, it is best to determine the place of residence of the children and the procedure for communicating with them in court. Contact 89129995748
What to do if the husband wants to take the child during a divorce
If the mother has financial difficulties, and the father has free funds, then very often he begins to literally shower the child with gifts, things, gadgets, spend as much time as possible with him, allowing everything and everything, and, in fact, bribes the child's loyalty. This trick is especially easy with underage teenagers who are going through a transitional age.
The husband took the child and does not give what to do according to the law
If the former spouse, having taken the child, behaves inappropriately, immorally, and this can harm, then the woman has the right pick up the child by contacting the guardianship authorities for help. Then you can not wait for a court decision, and representatives of the Board of Trustees can initiate legal proceedings regarding the deprivation of parental rights by the father or their restriction.
The husband took the child away and does not allow to see
Among the list of acts listed in Art. 69 RF IC, for which parents (one of them) may be deprived of parental rights means: abuse of their parental rights; child abuse, including physical or mental violence against them; and committing an intentional crime against the life or health of their children or against the life or health of the spouse. The list of these grounds is exhaustive and is not subject to broad interpretation.
Family disputes
Divorce is always a difficult and unpleasant event that brings many problems and worries. The situation becomes more complicated if the spouses have children in common. In most cases, the child stays with the mother as she plays leading role in the upbringing and development of the child. But what if the husband threatens to take the child away in the event of a divorce?
Civil husband does not give up the child, threatens with beatings
Try to contact the PDN department. They are also on duty on holidays. Describe the situation to them. does not know what to feed him, etc. He will tell about threats and what he is afraid for the child. Now the inspectors are responding promptly to such statements. Let them at least go to the address together. the psyche of the child.
Anna Kurskaya, RIA Novosti. If you marry a foreigner and are preparing to move to another state, study local laws in advance and do not hope that in the event of your scandalous divorce and a dispute over a child, Russia will send troops there to rescue you, warns Pavel Astakhov, Commissioner for Children's Rights under the President of the Russian Federation . Russian women who marry foreigners usually have the vaguest idea of the legislation of the state where they go to live and raise their children, professional defenders of children's rights say and offer enthusiasts the idea of marrying abroad to engage in legal self-education. If in our country, in the event of a divorce, priority in establishing custody of a child is traditionally given to mothers, then the laws of other countries may give priority to the father.
Ex-husband threatens to take the child - what to do
Divorce is always a difficult and painful event. especially when there are children. Unfortunately, children often become a bargaining chip in the process of clarifying the relationship between parents. Wanting to ruin the life of his wife, husband threatens to take the child away, take away, take away, deprive the mother of parental rights And so on.
The husband took the child and does not give what to do according to the law
Parental rights cannot be exercised in conflict with the interests of children. Ensuring the interests of children should be the main concern of their parents. When exercising parental rights, parents have no right to harm the physical and mental health of children, their moral development. Ways of raising children should exclude neglect, cruel, rude, degrading treatment, abuse or exploitation of children. Parents exercising parental rights to the detriment of the rights and interests of children are liable in accordance with the procedure established by law. All issues related to the upbringing and education of children are decided by the parents by mutual agreement, based on the interests of the children and taking into account the opinions of the children. Parents (one of them), if there are disagreements between them, have the right to apply for resolution of these disagreements to the guardianship and guardianship body or to the court. If the father took the child from the mother contrary to her consent, without obtaining the consent of the guardianship authorities, etc. he treated the child like a thing. The admissibility of such behavior is decided in court.
The husband took the child and does not give
Emma, According to paragraph 2 of article 24 of the RF IC, “If there is no agreement between the spouses on the issues specified in paragraph 1 of this article, and also if it is established that this agreement violates the interests of children or one of the spouses, the court obliged: Thus, the obligation to determine all the rights and obligations of parents in relation to their minor children, as well as the place of residence of children and the procedure for communicating with them, in the absence of a voluntarily concluded agreement, rests with the court.
Divorce is one of the most painful legal events. Especially when a child becomes a bargaining chip in the showdown between parents. Unfortunately, often the husband does not give the child away, what should the wife do in such a situation? What to do when the ex-spouse wants to deprive the mother of her baby of parental rights? Let's take a closer look at these issues in this article.
Often, during a divorce, the conflict flares up when choosing a parent to whom the child will be transferred for upbringing.
Conflicting over a child, often it is he who becomes a victim of the ambitions of two adults who forget that their broken marriage already traumatizes the emotional background of the baby.
An ideal situation would be when, after a divorce, the father would take the child to some classes in his spare time, while maintaining communication with him.
When applying to the court, parents must submit a plan to the court, i.e. your vision later life his descendant. The plan should reflect:
- place of residence of the child;
- days when dad (or mom) picks up the baby for communication.
In some cases, the father is against communicating with the child on a schedule. Therefore, threats may fall in the direction of the mother. To avoid them, it is worth offering the hostile side to sign an agreement, where all the nuances will be stipulated. It is this document that is considered the ideal instrument for resolving the conflict.
In what cases can the father take the baby away from the mother?
According to Art. 80 of the RF IC, parents have equal rights to raise a child. However, there are times when a mother may lose parental rights. Situations are considered when:
- the mother beats the child, forces him to beg, drives him out of the house into the street;
- the child is not well-groomed, starving;
- the wife uses drugs, alcohol, shows reckless behavior, does not want to get a job.
The following circumstances may also be the reason for taking the child away from the mother:
- the mother of the child has daily or shift work;
- the mother has a job that is accompanied by traveling;
- the mother does not have the proper conditions, therefore, she cannot guarantee a comfortable stay for the child;
- the child does not want to stay with the mother;
- a woman is characterized by hysteria and imbalance.
What should a woman do if her husband threatens to take the baby away?
Often the husband, not wanting a divorce, threatens his wife to take the child away. The court considers all circumstances, arguments and listens to the testimony of witnesses.
An important role in this matter can be played by the desire of the child himself. After 10 years, the court listens to his opinion.
On a note! Divorce statistics show only 10% of cases where the child is awarded to the father.
Women whose husbands threaten to take a child are manipulated. This is a common method of pressure on a woman who is well aware that the father will not be able to provide decent care for the baby (after all, the man will need to cook, feed the heir with healthy food, wash, iron, and learn lessons with him).
The court will evaluate the personal characteristics of the parents. Children are not taken away from women with normal life principles.
As a rule, a father, wanting to take a child from his wife, does not think about his son / daughter, but only pursues the goal of revenge. In such cases, a woman is obliged to "curb" her emotions so that no one can doubt her mental health. The husband, provoking his wife, will expect scandals, tantrums, sobs, attempts to fight from her.
Realizing this, a woman is obliged not to react to provocations, to be smart and think over her future prospects.
Attention! If the husband shows aggression and begins to dissolve his hands, the wife should immediately call the police.
In cases of beating, a woman needs to ensure the presence of witnesses (neighbors, acquaintances, friends) who will confirm the fact of the incident. With this behavior of the father, the children always remain with their mother.
Considering the conflict, it should be remembered that the father has the right to meet with the child, therefore, this should not be prevented in all cases.
Attention! If the beating of the child is shown on the part of the husband, it will be necessary to record the case with the police. If there was a fact of drinking alcohol or taking drugs, confirmation of the police protocol will also be required.
What to do if the child was taken away by the former spouse?
If the court decision is violated and the former spouse took the child away, then the mother should immediately:
- find out in the guardianship authorities whether they gave their consent to such an act;
- go to the police with a statement about the kidnapping.
If the police are in no hurry to accept the application, you need to go to higher authorities and demand that a criminal case be opened. Since, in fact, the father of the child violated the court decision and took the child.
What should a woman do if her ex-husband threatens to take the child?
In this situation, lawyers give the following advice:
- If the ex-husband changed his aggressive tone to a friendly one, the woman should be vigilant. This fact may indicate that the kidnapping of the child is being prepared. If suddenly there was concern for the health of the spouse and a desire to pay for her treatment or rest in a sanatorium, the ex-husband can be suspected that he decided to send her to a mental hospital. After such a “treatment”, the diagnosis in the medical record will not allow raising a child.
- If the father took the baby away through the court, then the mother should not have the illusion that letters to the court, the prosecutor's office, addressed to the president will help solve the problem. Officials are indifferent to such issues.
- Choosing a lawyer should be done with care. Ex-husbands constantly bribe lawyers. The lawyer on the mother's side in such cases makes many promises, and after the trial shrugs his shoulders in bewilderment. To prevent this from happening, you should visit the court in person and keep a dictaphone record, according to which an independent lawyer can assess the situation.
- The right to a child is issued according to the size of the wallet. Unfortunately, such disputes are started by men with powerful financial capital or administrative resources. Such people bribe everything and everyone. They do not spare money and use them as cartridges.
- In order not to provoke the ex-spouse to kidnap the child, it is worth giving the baby away according to the schedule set by the court (and you don’t need to show the father how the son calls someone else’s uncle “daddy”).
- Starting a fight with rich dad, you should morally tune in to the status of the accused. Rich fathers will not spare their mother by sending her to prison (for example, for possession of drugs) or a mental hospital. If there is a risk of such a threat, then this should be reported through a statement to the prosecutor's office or the Investigative Committee. This moment can greatly disrupt the quiet life of the opponent.
Current questions and answers
- First question: In the process of divorce, the court handed over the child to the upbringing of the father. What should a mother do if the ex-spouse leads an immoral lifestyle that can harm the child?
Answer: You can pick up a child through the guardianship authorities. After the trial, the guardianship authorities themselves will sue for the award of the child to the mother.- Question two: After the divorce, on the basis of a court decision, the ex-husband was given the right to take the child on vacation. The mother of the child does not want to let the child go with the father. What does she face in case of non-compliance with the court decision?
Answer: In order for the bailiffs not to transfer the child to the father, the mother must be provided with strong arguments on the basis of which such a possibility is excluded. For example: doctors do not recommend a child to change the climate, diet, or a child psychologist does not advise a child to leave without a mother.- Question three: My husband and I are in the process of divorcing. I used to give my son to my father, but recent times he brought the child in a dirty, unkempt form. Because of this, I began to refuse communication. As a result, my husband (in the past he had Article 105) began to threaten me. What to do with a child if I'm afraid of my husband?
Answer: The husband's threats should be recorded on a voice recorder and you can contact the police with them by writing a statement.
By pressing the button, you give
Irina, hello!
According to Art. 54 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, every child has the right to live and be brought up in a family, the right to live together with their parents.
However, in cases where the cohabitation of the parents themselves is no longer possible and there is talk of dissolution of the marriage, it is necessary to determine with which parent the child will remain.
In accordance with the rules of art. 24 of the RF IC, the court, when considering a divorce case, is obliged to determine with which of the parents the minor children will live after the divorce, as well as from which of the parents and in what amounts alimony for their children will be collected.
If an agreement is not reached between the parents on the issue of the place of residence of the child, then this dispute will be considered by the court, taking into account many circumstances. The main criterion for determining the place of residence of a child with one of the parents in a judicial proceeding will be the interests of the child himself. On this occasion, the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation in its Resolution of the Presidium of October 27, 1998 No. 10 determined that the court takes into account the age of the child, his attachment to each of the parents, brothers, sisters and other family members, moral and other personal qualities of the parents, relations , existing between each of the parents and the child, the possibility of creating conditions for the child's upbringing and development (taking into account the type of activity and mode of work of the parents, their material and marital status, bearing in mind that in itself the advantage in the financial situation of one of the parents is not an unconditional basis for satisfying the requirements of this parent), as well as other circumstances that characterize the situation that has developed in the place of residence of each of the parents.
According to Art. 57 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the child has the right to express his opinion when resolving any issue in the family concerning his interests, as well as to be heard in the course of any judicial or administrative proceedings. Consideration of the opinion of a child who has reached the age of ten years is mandatory. That is, if a 10-year-old child expresses his desire to live with one of the parents, then the court will take into account this opinion, unless it violates the interests of the child himself (if the parent with whom he wants to stay does not abuse alcohol, does not immoral way of life and does not create a threat to the life and health of the child by its behavior).
And the arguments about financial situation and the presence of a permanent job with the spouse with whom the child will not live are not taken into account by the courts. Because the obligation to support children is assigned to parents by the provisions of Art. 80 of the RF IC, and the fact that the child will live with his mother, for example, does not relieve the financially better-off father of the obligation to maintain him.
Irina, if you have any questions, you can write to me in the chat and order a personal consultation or preparation of a document on your issue. All the best!
