How to meet a girl
Dating and Pickup
How to meet a girl
When it comes to meeting a girl, many guys begin to experience some kind of discomfort due to the fact that they know absolutely nothing about how they should act and what to say.
And this uncertainty sometimes turns into real fear if you think of meeting a girl as an exam on which the fate of a future relationship depends. After all, the price of a mistake can be expensive.
But fortunately for you, this is complete nonsense and any guy, when meeting a girl, can do absolutely unpredictable things and at the same time hit her heart. It all depends solely on the correct choice of the girl and on her ability to listen, but we’ll talk about this a little later.
Which girl to choose for dating
In one good movie describing meeting a girl, there was a phrase that some guys began to take literally: “Everyone has a chance to hit the heart of absolutely any girl and become the one who spends the rest of their lives with her.” And although this is theoretically true, in reality everything is a little different.
In order to hit a girl’s heart, you need to be around her level and understand her ideals and dreams. Let's say, how do you imagine a girl driving a BMW dating a guy who has been rummaging through the trash all his life? This is theoretically possible, but in practice this will not happen. And if such an example seems too categorical to you, then believe me, there are many hidden details and little things that you either understand or not. And no matter how wonderful and good you are, you will not be able to break through this shield.
Therefore, you need to clearly define your level, your capabilities and choose the category of girls you want to achieve. You can take girls one or two levels higher or lower, but no more. Believe me, every day we see hundreds of stories about heartbreaking love that did not work out for this very reason.
Why you need to decide on a girl’s level
Relationships should only bring pleasure and happiness, and this can only be achieved in relationships in which there is ease, understanding and mutual help.
Just imagine a situation where your potential girlfriend is used to going to expensive restaurants and clubs, and she spends every summer in Spain. And you are an ordinary student who lacks stars from heaven, but has some means. Maybe you will be able to afford such a vacation a few times, but then it will start to become very stressful. And the girl’s attitude will change when she gets out of her usual rut, where everyone does exactly the same as she did before, and you began to limit her.
Therefore, you need to choose a girl who will be happy with what you can offer her. That girl who will help you reach heights, inspiring you to achieve great feats, and not reproaching you every day.
Where to start meeting a girl
There is a simple truth: in order for a child to learn to walk, he first has to lie in a cradle, crawl on the floor, and only then take hesitant steps that lead him to a confident gait.
When meeting girls, things are about the same. At first you are afraid to talk to them, then you make clumsy attempts to start a dialogue with them, and then you realize that most of them behave exactly the same, your only job is to repeat what you have already done dozens of other times.
Where is the best place to meet girls?
As the practice of successful cases of dating girls shows, there are currently two places where the chances of meeting are the greatest:
Holiday or Event. We are ready to beat with a stick anyone who tries to teach guys to meet girls on the street using a classic suit, stupid phrases and a lonely flower. How do you imagine it, so that a girl who is going somewhere on business or is going to relax in the company of friends would take a stuttering guy in a suit seriously? Yes, this is funny.
For this reason, we advise meeting girls where the situation is conducive to this. Let's say at a rock music concert, you can easily identify girls who are standing and you can clearly see from their faces that they are bored, or that they are calling for the attention of guys better than a shaman calling for rain. At some KVN game at the institute, you can also sit next to a couple of girls and get to know one of them. You can do this somewhere at a ski resort, or just in the park for some holiday. This number also includes thematic sites where fans of a particular culture gather.
Meeting someone in such a place allows you not only to approach a peaceful girl, but also to find a topic of conversation that will be interesting to both you and her. If she came to some event, it means either she loves it, or at least she has friends who brought her here. And that's great for you.
Internet. Many people are inherently afraid of direct communication. And this rule applies to both boys and girls. This means that if you approach a girl on the street and start saying something to her, she may have a desire to quickly run away from you. At the same time, if you write her a message on the Internet, she may willingly talk to you without fear for herself. For this reason, the Internet is a good place to chat with girls.
I would like to immediately warn you to work on your page. A photo of you sitting drunk and without pants in the toilet is not funny and uninteresting! If you write to a decent girl, then at least at first create for yourself the image of an adequate guy. And this is not a joke, these are real situations!
What to talk about with a girl when meeting her
It is believed that if a guy can say or write a really exciting introduction when meeting someone, then the girl will respond to this message with great enthusiasm. And indeed it is. But if you really evaluate what guys write, then in 99.9% of cases it is such nonsense that girls perceive it negatively.
For this reason, if you are not confident in the genius of your preparations, then it is better to make do with banal phrases that are perceived neutrally, which is already great!
Phrases like:
Hi, I saw your photos on the bike. Can you tell me where you took these photos? By the way, my name is Maxim.
I saw you at the concert yesterday, but didn’t have time to approach you, your friends dragged you. How did you like the concert?
Hello, your photos are good. I just couldn't resist writing to you.
Take a closer look at the girl
Before you write to a girl, you need to spend at least a few minutes assessing her appearance.
If this is some kind of concert or just a street, then pay attention to the gait, posture, choice of clothes and its color.
· Confident girls have a confident gait, a straight back and a neutral color of clothing. When meeting them, it is imperative to be confident, express your thoughts clearly and clearly. A little banter in their direction is allowed, but on a neutral topic.
· If a girl is dressed in extremely bright things, her gait is confused, and her gaze avoids other people, it means that she is immersed in her thoughts, and other people do not bother her much. In this case, you need a somewhat cheeky approach with a romantic touch. These girls love bad boys.
What to say when meeting someone
You will be surprised, but when you meet a girl, she does not want to listen to you, and she is not at all interested in your experiences and interests. The only thing a girl wants to do is be safe and talk about herself.
Your task is to keep the conversation going on a topic that interests her. Then she will be satisfied, and you will be able to learn more about the girl. And this is useful to know if you are looking for a girl for a relationship, and not a girl for one night.
How to invite a girl for a walk after meeting her
After you have gotten to know each other, it is time to invite the girl to a meeting. And if you know her interests, then the place and words should not be a problem, but if you are still “walking in the dark,” then remember a few points.
Don't make something special out of the meeting. You shouldn’t say: “I’m inviting you on a date,” you need to say it more simply: “Let’s go for a walk, let’s sit in a cafe. I’ve been wanting to go for a long time, and here I’ll have just such a pleasant conversation partner.” Less formality, more freedom.
Girls love intrigue. You can make a little riddle with the place where you want to go. Even if you play with her a little on this topic, that's already good.
Without friends and girlfriends. Under no circumstances agree to walks with three, four, etc. Such meetings are possible after a couple of months of relationship, but at the initial stage - this is the end!
As a conclusion about dating a girl
There is nothing easier than meeting a girl. This all comes with experience, time and mistakes. And there's nothing wrong with that. You will definitely be able to charm the girl of your dreams.
Everyone knows how important it is to make a first impression. If you want to make new friends without seeming like a weirdo, you need to learn how to show interest in people without being overly eager or even desperate to meet people. If you want to learn how to make friends without looking weird, the following tips are for you.
Steps
The Right Attitude
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Live in the moment. The first thing you should do is stop worrying about what people think of you and just start enjoying the new conversation. Forget about your expectations and fears, let the conversation flow naturally and organically. Learn to focus on other people so you don't lose track of the conversation and follow the line of discussion.
- When you approach a new person, don't ask yourself, “What do I look like? What does my voice sound like? Instead, ask yourself: “What would this person want to talk about? What are his interests?
- Try to be one step ahead by thinking about what to say next, instead of replaying in your head that stupid thing you just (or even five minutes ago) accidentally said.
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Stop being insecure and constantly seeking the approval of others .
The need for emotional support is a precursor to obsession, which is not normal. Such people are unbalanced and unstable, since their happiness depends too much on someone else. If you feel like you'll be crushed if the person doesn't want to be your friend or partner in the relationship, it's time to stop, be patient, and take stock of yourself.
- If you are really attracted to a new acquaintance, do not rush to immediately say: “I like you!” - or: “You’re just super!”, if you don’t want to overdo it with the manifestation of positive vibes.
- Don't ask for a person's phone number in the middle of a conversation or as soon as a spark has flown between you. It's better to wait until the end - it will look more natural.
- If you want the person to be your friend, you might say something like, “We could watch that new movie together,” or, “I'd like to take that yoga class you were talking about.” Try to choose a neutral activity so you don't seem too obsessed. Don't immediately invite someone to go on a long bike ride, attend a family dinner with you, or help you pick out underwear at the store.
- Try not to sound weird or desperate, and avoid phrases like “I don’t have many friends, it would be great to hang out with you!”
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Stay confident. You may doubt yourself, but being confident will help other people feel that you are worth talking to. Exude confidence before you even walk into a room with strangers, and reinforce it when you talk. Just smile, talk about your favorite things, show others that you are happy with yourself, where you are and what you are doing.
- Body language will help you maintain confidence. Straighten your shoulders, maintain eye contact, don't make fidgety movements with your arms, and don't look at the floor.
- Don't check your reflection in mirrors or reflective surfaces - people may see that you're nervous.
- When you introduce yourself, speak clearly and loudly so that you can be heard.
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Radiate positive energy. However, don't try to look too inspired. Smile and laugh from time to time, don't stand around with a weird grin on your face and don't laugh at things that aren't funny. Talk about what you enjoy doing, your hobbies, what makes you happy. There is no need to mention taxidermy or the fact that you are constantly on VKontakte.
- If you talk about a long-term hatred of a certain teacher, colleague, celebrity, etc., you will definitely look repulsive.
- Don't nod or agree with everything the other person says, shaking your head like a dog every five seconds. Just say: “Exactly!” - or: “I know what you mean!” It looks more natural.
Maintaining a pleasant conversation
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Learn to make small talk .
They will help you get to know the person better, and will also lead you smoothly to more serious topics and more personal relationships. Talking about the weather or the classes you're taking can steer the conversation toward your interests or favorite memories of a certain time of year.
- To conduct small talk, you need to put the interests of the interlocutor above your own. In other words, your task is to become interested in a person, not to interest him.
- Ask the other person a few basic questions about what courses he's taking, whether he has siblings or a pet, where he's going on vacation, or what his plans are for the future.
- Learn to respond. For example, if a person complains about rainy weather, ask what they prefer to do when it's sunny outside.
- Listen carefully. Once you know certain details, you can continue the conversation or take it in a different direction.
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Don't go overboard with details. Awkward silence creates an uncomfortable atmosphere, as does incessant chatter about your mom, your cat, or your bug collection. The key to a good conversation is the ability to find something in common in a relaxed manner. For example, there is a big difference between asking, “Have you ever held a tarantula?” - and: “Have you ever felt the little hairy legs of a tarantula tickle your palm?” Yes, the last question sounds very poetic, but too intimate for a first conversation.
- Learn to start and continue conversations in a positive and relaxed manner.
- Once again, it's worth remembering that you shouldn't get hung up on your unique interests and hobbies unless the other person shares them or bombards you with questions. If you were asked a couple of questions, this does not mean that the interlocutor is interested. It may just be an act of politeness, so don't take over the conversation with your enthusiasm.
- When meeting for the first time, it is much more important to listen to what they say to you than to talk about yourself.
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Find common interests. Try to find out what you might have in common - even if it's a stretch. For example, if you are from the same city, talk about your favorite summer vacation spots or favorite sports teams. If you both study at the same school, you may have common lectures.
- Don't look for commonalities in too obvious a manner. For example, you shouldn't ask a person to immediately name the top 10 of his favorite TV shows or music groups.
- Finding something in common is quite easy. For example, if you're in a bar, you might like the same type of beer that they serve.
- It's advisable to look for something in common in a positive sense, but you can also bond over a shared hatred of Justin Bieber or your history teacher.
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Give appropriate compliments. During the conversation, you can casually compliment your interlocutor. For example: “I love your shell earrings!” - or: “Wow, you’re just an expert in cars!” However, compliments like: “You have the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen,” or “You have amazing legs!” - may be misinterpreted.
- Don't overuse compliments. This is just a courtesy. No, no, during a conversation, make compliments about only one specific trait or characteristic of a person, so as not to seem strange.
Respecting boundaries
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Start slowly. Think of relationships as a kind of video game. You start with an easy level, over time you learn by moving to more difficult levels and achieve a satisfactory result. When you meet a person, you are on the first level, and until you pass it, do not jump to the second. People with oddities usually tend to start at level 15.
- You can base the conversation on more personal topics, but you should start with something simple and harmless, for example, talking about the weather or your favorite music.
- Don't talk about your loneliness, depression or nervous breakdowns if you've had them - you'll definitely seem weird.
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Don't stare at the person. A long, gaze is practiced only by lovers. This can be done if the person is probably in a romantic mood, but even in this case it is easy to make a mistake. Look the person in the eye during a conversation, occasionally looking at other objects.
- Make sure you don't have a habit of staring at someone's body parts (chest, arms, shoes, whatever), regardless of curiosity or admiration. You don't want the person to feel like they're under a microscope.
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Don't ask too many personal questions. What does this mean? It depends on a lot. The best thing to do is to pay attention to other conversations. Pay attention to what topics people are comfortable with when meeting for the first time. Do not touch on topics such as romantic relationships, politics, religion, illness, murder, death, and so on.
- If you're talking about what it's like to be single, it's appropriate to ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" But don’t ask: “Have you met the love of your life yet?” - or: “Did you have a painful breakup?”
- Maintain balance when questioning. If you ask too many questions without giving the other person a chance to ask something back, you may seem strange. Even if you don't ask anything personal.
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Don't make inappropriate invitations. Do not invite someone you just met to your home or to any private or even intimidating place, such as a basement, abandoned barn, cabin in the woods, or the like. This kind of invitation can only be made to those people who completely trust you. At the first meeting, only someone strange can agree.
- If you want to invite someone somewhere, choose a public place where there are a lot of other people.
- An invitation may also be inappropriate if it is associated with a private event. For example, you shouldn’t invite a girl you just met to your friend’s wedding.
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Watch your body language. Despite the fact that weirdness is defined differently for each person, and the transition to a new level is established differently for each person, there are several universal rules of body language:
- For example, if someone constantly looks into the distance, towards the exit, or turns around, this is most likely a signal that the person wants to end the conversation. This may take practice and attention at first, but over time you will be able to read body language on a subconscious level.
- You can put someone off if your own body language makes you feel awkward or uncomfortable. For example, you lean too close to a person or splutter when talking.
- Don't touch someone you just met. Try to avoid touching the other person's hair or hand unless you feel that he will definitely like it and create intimacy.
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It would seem that what could be easier for a man than to take the first step and meet a girl?
However, it is at this stage that most of you fall into a stupor, begin to talk outright nonsense, lose control of yourself and look like pathetic idiots. Why is that? Why are you afraid to meet girls?
Because the man takes it too seriously. He begins to invent witty phrases, non-standard ways of meeting people. He's trying to be something he really isn't.
Unfortunately, not all men are capable of even taking such a step. Why complicate your life? You can just sit at home, play computer games and whine that all women are bitches and they only want money from you (which you most likely don’t have).
Yes, in the first stages it will be difficult, you will be refused. But the point is that this way you will gain experience and will not make idiotic mistakes that you made at the first stage.
All in all, the first and most important quality that you need to develop in yourself is initiative. And nothing else. This is the beginning of the beginning.
5 rules for meeting a girl:
1. Visual contact.
This is an incredibly necessary point. Even if you decide to approach and meet a girl, it is important not to be stupid or embarrassed.
Saying something and looking at the floor or at busy traffic on the street is the height of rudeness and disrespect for any interlocutor, not to mention a girl.
Of course, there is no need to search her with partiality, look at every mole on her face, separately focus her gaze on certain parts of the body, and so on.
It is enough that you just look into her eyes and carefully monitor her reaction to your words, gestures and behavior.
2. Show interest.
You must remember that the main goal of dating is not to come up and tell all the information about your life, starting from kindergarten.
You should find out as much as possible about her. Ask questions, touch on some interesting topics, give compliments.
If she asks you about something, then answer as restrainedly as possible, say only what she needs to hear. At the same time, be friendly and moderately open. Girls are always captivated by this.
Try to make sure there are no awkward pauses or too long silences between you, because she will lose interest very quickly.
3. Watch her signals.
A girl gives many signals when you meet. You just need to learn to read them.
If she constantly smiles or unconsciously reduces the distance between you, this is a good sign. She herself may not be aware of this. Everything happens subconsciously.
Act immediately: casually touch her arm or shoulders. You can move on to the next stage - take a phone number or offer to continue acquaintance in a more comfortable place. Go for it!
4. Be absolutely calm.
Don't fuss, don't be too loud, too active - you'll look like a cheap clown.
If a girl sees your self-confidence, then you will have a much better chance of attracting her interest.
All your inner experiences are reflected on you. If you are incredibly nervous, but at the same time trying to keep a stony expression on your face, then know that this is very noticeable to the girl.
So get yourself together, discipline you. Nothing bad happens! You're just meeting another girl. No global catastrophes or apocalypses.
5. Flirt.
This is the most important point. You simply must be able to flirt. Yes, first you need to hone this skill on a hundred others, but without this there is no way.
All girls love to flirt, and you must master this art perfectly. Sometimes just one phrase can define everything. With one phrase you can hook her in such a way that she will remember you and your style of communication for a long time.
But flirting should not be vulgar, rude and obscene. It is very important here not to cross the line into vulgarity.
Stop using cheap advice from pick-up artists on the topic “How to meet girls in an original or beautiful way.” Just take it and do it. If you think too much, you will look like a sad loser.
To summarize, I would like to say that stop using cheap advice from some pick-up artists on the topic “how to meet a girl in an original way.” Forget about any originality. Just take it and do it, otherwise you’ll think about how to get acquainted in an original way and won’t get acquainted at all, or even worse, you’ll look like a sad loser, and that’s not the result you want, right?
Have you read the article? But how can all this information be put into practice? How to get step-by-step and comprehensive instructions to woo a specific girl?
You will learn about this in a paid training “How to turn a feminine NO into a feminine YES”.
Meeting a girl is always a very exciting and difficult moment for any man of any age. Therefore, in order to overcome this stage of relationships, many guys resort to online dating services, since meeting a girl on the Internet is much easier than in real life, however, there are also subtleties that should be taken into account and today’s article will be about them.
Where to start meeting a girl on the Internet?
It is better to start any acquaintance, no matter whether it is virtual or real, with a sign of attention, a compliment or a gift. If you want to meet a beautiful girl on a dating site, you must immediately come to terms with the fact that you will have much more competitors than usual, so you must somehow stand out from this gray mass. Fortunately, this is quite easy to do, if only you had money. Many services provide the opportunity to make a gift in the form of a virtual toy or flowers, which will subsequently be placed on the page with the girl’s profile. For special gifts, there is even the opportunity to give VIP status on the site, which allows you to significantly expand the capabilities of a girl’s profile (decorate your page, be invisible, hide age, etc.). We agree that a gift requires money, which is not always available in sufficient quantities, but we are now talking about your potential future. Don't you already feel sorry for 1-5 dollars?! In addition, if you met in real life, you would most likely invite her to a cafe, restaurant, buy flowers, etc., which would cost much more than a harmless gift.
From all that has been said above, let us sum up the first conclusion: you should start meeting a girl on the Internet with a virtual compliment - flowers, VIP status, a soft toy, etc. In any case, the girl will like such a gift, she will pay attention to you, understand the fact that you really liked her, and you will be able to take the next step.
What to write to a girl when meeting online?
Now let's move on to the main thing and one might even say the final step on the path to acquaintance. Since your future joint relationships will depend on him: will they be friendly, loving, or absent altogether. There are several rules that will include advice on what you can write to a girl and what you can’t:
- Never reveal the whole truth about the purpose of your acquaintance with her. The answer should always be the same: “First of all, I’m looking for a girlfriend, and then how fate will turn out...”. Even if you want to marry her, want children from her and live together until the end of your days, do not write this. Some will understand this as a joke, others will perceive it as childish and frivolous. And of course, you don’t need to write about sex if you are looking for a girlfriend for an intimate relationship. Yes, you are being deceitful, but only in this case will you be able to win the girl.
- Start the conversation by complimenting her. Appreciate the beauty of her hair, eyes, waist, long legs, flat tummy, etc. But just don’t resort to vulgarity - you don’t need to point out her breasts, buttocks or thighs at the first message. This needs to be mentioned, but not now!
- Don’t rush to get her phone number or make an appointment, 80% will refuse right away. You must interest her first, and only then invite her to a cafe.
- Be careful with punctuation and expressions. Your turns of phrase and mistakes will tell you a lot about you. Excessive “literariness” will show your pedantry, seriousness and may even scare off the girl a little. Keep it simple, build your sentences more concisely.
- Ask questions more often, talk less about yourself, unless she asks for it herself.
- Call her by name more often; it captivates any person when he sees or hears his beautiful name.
- Before asking questions, study her profile and ask questions based on it. This way, you will have topics for conversation: hobbies, work, life principles, taste preferences, etc.
- If you feel that your supply of ideas is running out, end the conversation (just name an important reason) and offer to continue it in a cafe over a cup of coffee.
- Be sincere in your conversation, but present any fact beautifully. Even if you are an ordinary salesperson in a store, call yourself a consultant in the field of trade. Let there be a mystery in you.
- If she asked you about having a car that you don't have. Walk out of the situation proudly: “I’m still saving up for a car... I don’t want to waste money on the cheap auto industry!” If you are ashamed of the car brand (Tavria), then answer that for you a car is not a luxury, but a means of transportation.
- Don't pause in conversation! Try to ask her as many questions as possible, and as soon as you see that a certain topic arouses her interest, develop it by asking leading questions and telling your own stories or news read.
- Keep it simple! Don't memorize certain phrases or sentences; your speech should be natural but interesting.
If you can’t think of topics to talk about, then read our article:
