You fall asleep and wake up with his name on your lips, with his image before your eyes. He comes to you in a dream, smiles, takes you by the hand, and you seem to fall into an ocean of hopes and sweet dreams. His beautiful face meets you on the screen mobile phone, his photo is on the desktop of the laptop. It would seem that any girl will be able to understand this state - which of us has not been madly in love? But everything is a little different with you, like with others: you fell in love with a star and don't know what to do about it.
What to do if you fell in love with a famous person as a teenager?
We hasten to reassure - girls and teenage girls so often fall in love with famous personalities that it is simply impossible to consider this something abnormal. It would be strange if you, on the contrary, did not fall in love with some actor or musician in your 12 or 15 years. Perhaps now you are worried that your parents or one of the elders will find out about this sympathy - but believe me, most women and even many men were once also in love with screen stars. Therefore, even if your confession makes an adult smile, she will be good-natured and understanding.
Well, among your peers, you are certainly not alone. It is very likely that you even know someone with whom you have a common lover. The main thing is not to be jealous of his other fans, because they are in the same position as you. On the contrary, it will be great if in this way you find friends with the same interests.
A young girl who has fallen in love with a singer or actor does not need the advice of a psychologist. As they say, it will pass. Perhaps now it seems to you that this is forever, that this is a great passion that will stay with you for life, but, fortunately, this is not so. Yes, yes, fortunately, because mutual love is perhaps the best thing that can happen to a person, but you will never expect reciprocity from a screen star (yes, most likely, you won’t even have a chance to meet ).
So what to do if you fell in love with a star? Enjoy the emotions that this feeling brings you. Find like-minded people in real life and on social networks - yes, you will never meet your idol, but you will have girlfriends and friends with whom you share common interests. Try to make your passion not bring you suffering and envy of those who have the opportunity to communicate with the object of your sympathy, but benefit and development. Why not?
Many girls embody their feelings for an idol in creativity - someone writes fanfiction, someone draws, someone translates interviews, someone creates and develops fan communities in social networks.
One day - whether you like it or not - your love for a famous person will dry up, but the experience that all these classes have brought you will help you become more successful and in demand in the future. Who knows, maybe it is the love of an idol that will reveal your creative potential?
And finally - never, never be jealous of your favorite actor (singer, showman or politician - we don't know who he is) to those who are now next to him. After all, this often happens: a girl fell in love with a famous person and now she can’t find a place for herself. He follows his personal life, and when he learns that the idol has a girlfriend or wife, he goes crazy with rage. You will never know everything that happens between your loved one and his soulmate; their relationship may not be perfect, but that doesn't give you the right to hate this woman or wish her harm. If you really love a person, then you wish happiness to him and those whom he loves. Do you want your favorite actor or musician to be happy? If his girlfriend makes him happy, then you should accept her role in his life as well.
I am an adult girl / woman, but still fell in love with a star
Yes, romantic feelings for a popular performer in adolescence will not surprise anyone. But what if you are no longer a schoolgirl, but an adult woman, maybe even a married one - and suddenly fell in love with a famous person? You won’t tell your friends - they’ll only twist it at the temple. It seems that everyone has idols and favorite actors, but you have somehow gone too far, and now you are ready to write yourself into the category of abnormal. Do not rush to do this - but we do not advise you to completely go into the world of fantasy.
- You need to figure out why this is happening. Why did your choice fall on a star, and not on a living, real person? You may not be satisfied with the life you are currently leading. Perhaps a difficult period has come in a relationship with a boyfriend or husband, and you want to somehow escape from pressing problems. Maybe it seems to you that there are no worthy contenders for your heart nearby. Or maybe they really don't? But after all, everything is in your hands - by changing yourself, you will change your social circle and meet more interesting people. There is no need to escape from reality - on the contrary, delve into the reasons, look for ways of development for yourself, and at some point your love will disappear by itself, like an unnecessary, superfluous link.
- We know this advice may seem banal, but a little sobering truth will not hurt you now. What to do if you fell in love with a star? First of all, stop idealizing your idol. Yes, he looks like a perfect example of what a man should be. But in fact, he is the same person as you, as well as those around you. Try to look at his glossy photos less and look more often at those pictures that are posted on the network by the paparazzi - those where he walks to the nearest store in worn-out sneakers. Maybe it will bring you back to reality.
- If you are completely confused and cannot understand yourself, you may need the help of a specialist. Do not be afraid and do not hesitate to ask for it - it is much worse if you give up and do not try to change anything. A girl who has fallen in love with an actor may need the advice of a psychologist. find a good specialist who you can trust - you'll see, very soon you will find a solution to your problem.
Who in his youth did not fall in love with famous actors, musicians, TV stars and other celebrities. Where can you meet them and how to fall in love with yourself. First of all, remember that celebrities are people too, therefore, the methods of falling in love are the same as for ordinary guys and girls with some features. The main problem is where to meet this celebrity. 20 ways to fall in love with a celebrity.
Method Navigator
Method 1. Regulars of club concerts
Usually, musicians performing at club parties invite their friends. Seeing familiar faces in the hall, try to naturally approach them, taking a place nearby.
Interesting: 10 ways to make friends
Try to strike up an unobtrusive, non-committal conversation with him. At the same time, in no case do not show stormy admiration for meeting with him. Just relax and do not interfere with the person doing it. If you manage to seem to him an interesting unusual interlocutor, you will have a chance to continue the relationship.
Method 2. Castings
By visiting auditions, you can get acquainted with both famous jury members, their invited colleagues, and with novice artists. Perhaps you will meet your true love in the face of an unknown participant in the show. Try to get an autograph from celebrities. You have to be remembered for something, to stand out from the crowd.
Method 3. Page on social networks
Often, celebrities have their own pages on social networks. Try to get through to them this way. But do not forget that many have already tried to do this before you. If you manage to become something special for a celebrity, hook his soul strings, you will have a chance. If you did not succeed, perhaps this is for the best, perhaps this is not your person.
Interesting: 10 ways to seduce a man
Method 4. Imitation of an interview
If you are desperate and determined, try to get an interview with the subject of your dreams. The easiest way to do this is through the same social networks. True, in order to interest a person, you will have to prepare thoroughly. Trivial questions will not work. We'll have to try and find something that can hook the interlocutor, as they say, to the quick.
Method 5. Hotel bar
If you really want to meet a star, find out in advance the address of the bar where his fans gather. As a rule, after concerts, the stars pay attention to them. Try to get to the celebrity and be remembered.
Method 6. Airport
The life of celebrities is characterized by frequent tours. Usually, in order to save time, they fly by plane. We'll have to do preliminary work, knowing the time of departure. In the airport hall there are many reasons to casually meet a bored celebrity.
Interesting: 10 ways to make a girl fall in love with you
Method 7. Autographs
The distribution of autographs has not yet been canceled. The easiest way to approach a celebrity is after a concert, performance, show, filming for an autograph. This is not only a tradition, but also a pleasant experience for a celebrity, no matter what they say about it. After all, if they do not want to take an autograph, there is no popularity.
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“In our society, celebrities have become like drugs,” says American psychologist James Houran. “They are right next to us. Now obsessing over them is as easy as shelling pears.”
Remember how even ten years ago the walls of the room of every second schoolgirl were hung with posters of Bill Kaulitz, and the boys at breaks drooled over the poster with Alice Milano? Now these boys and girls have grown up, someone has already got their own families, but the star idol has not gone away, he just transformed. Bill Kaulitz turned into Benedict Cumberbatch and Tom Hiddleston, instead of Alice Milano now Scarlett Johansson and Emilia Clarke, and dreams from the desire to be near and hug under the starry sky grew into desires not so innocent. Stop denying it, each of us has the same (or the same) screen image that makes the room hotter, and you want to unbutton at least one extra button.
Why are we so drawn to celebrities we'll never meet?
It is believed that celebrity culture has arrived quite recently, along with the beginning of the era of media content. With such a manifestation of the cult of famous people, humanity really encounters for the first time, but the mechanism that gave rise to it is much older and goes deep into the prehistoric period.
Blame evolution?
Our psyches have been adjusted for thousands of years to environment in order to survive at any cost. From other breeding animals, we adopted a culture of dominance (“the main one who is stronger”), but it did not fully meet our needs. People quickly learned that sometimes not only someone who skillfully turns bags can be useful to society, but also someone who does not differ in physical strength, but, for example, knows what herbs to treat a cold. And they began to respect not only the strong, but also the smart. Honor and respect bring with them the desire to imitate. A respected person becomes not just the savior of the village, but also a role model - they are drawn to him, they strive to be like him. This allowed future generations to learn from the experience of their elders, and not to think of re-inventing the bicycle.
This is how our brains have worked for thousands of years. People used legends about great wars/wizards/wise men so that the younger generations would have role models. In the long run, this helped us survive and come to the society that we have now.
But this played a cruel joke on us. Never before has mankind had such access to constantly updated arrays of information. We no longer listen to stories about the mighty hero from time to time, when a wandering storyteller turns up in the village. Now the hero himself talks about himself in great detail, once again posting a photo of his breakfast on Instagram. We start watching him just out of interest (I want to know how celebrities live), but our brain still obeys the ancient mechanism and cannot just take and give up what has helped humanity survive for centuries. The brain recognizes the authority of this person (which is why we experience meeting them so much). For him, famous means successful, which means revered, and one should strive to imitate him. The brain is ready to collect information, it starts to drag us out, and now we already know everything about the idol that we could get. His work speaks in our hearts, we love everything that our favorite celebrity does. We might even start attending his performances, asking for autographs, and the bravest ones joining in on Facebook (if the idol hasn't got his own manager yet). It brings us pleasure, even if our real life we are completely satisfied at first sight. As Houran points out, “the stalker lurks within each of us,” and no one knows exactly when our brains will decide to succumb to the temptation to follow the life of a person who is not part of ours.
Blame the psyche?
And so we come to another reason for our celebrity worship. This time, it is no longer the ancient instincts that are to blame, but a simpler mechanism of the psyche, which, however, also affected our perception of the stars not in the most in the best way. It's about imaginary proximity. Homemade celebrity posts pop up in our news feed mixed with messages from people who are really close to us, and it seems that we know our idol, even though we have never met him. Sometimes we know even more about him than about those who are actually nearby. After all, relatives are not shown on TV, they are not filmed about relatives, they are not interviewed, their movement cannot be tracked by photographs of random passers-by. In a word, it is not possible to collect information about them in the usual way, it must be learned through personal communication. This is harder than just typing a name into a search engine and reading a portion of new gossip. We create his ideal image in our head, assign certain qualities to him, find an excuse for them, if suddenly some actions of a celebrity run counter to our ideas about her. Even if we do not leave comments and somehow contact the star on social networks, we still have the opportunity to follow her life, dream of meeting and imagine ourselves as someone special in his life. Now a famous person is our support and support. It turns out that some stranger, knowing nothing about us, makes us happier with a photo on Instagram than a living person nearby.
Why do people "fall in love" with a celebrity?
Despite the fact that all people are different, and our reactions do not follow exact formulas, it is still possible to identify the main causes. Here is what Stanislav Shuda, a psychologist, hypnologist, researcher of sects, manipulations, cults, says about this.
« The first thing you should pay attention to is the understanding of the concept of “love” by the person himself. What exactly does that mean for him. The word is one - the content is different. For example, parents yell at a child, but they think they love. And for someone this [behavior] is unacceptable. In our case, a person, growing up with a strange understanding of love, perceives a feeling of inspiration and any vivid emotions for love. It is worth mentioning here that “love” for celebrities will be shown by people with a certain set of character traits, strongly pronounced". People with a pronounced hysteria of character are most susceptible to celebrity worship syndrome - these people fall in love so that they have something to brag to others, to feel part of something larger and exceptional. For them, celebrity worship is another way to draw attention to their person. They will be suspicious. They perceive everything globally, exclusively, therefore, the role of an artist is perceived as something personal. And, of course, these people are overly emotional and very impressionable.
The second reason for feelings for a celebrity Shuda calls the projection mechanism.
« The artist becomes the subject of feelings and states repressed into the subconscious or desired. A strong and self-confident actor in the image causes a desire to project all other positive traits onto him. As if a brave "hero" will always be kind and loving, like, for example, dad - who paid little attention. It gets personal, catchy».
Most often, celebrity worship syndrome affects people who, for some reason, have difficulty communicating with the outside world. Outwardly, sometimes quite prosperous, these people do not always receive from society the emotional support that they need. Relations with a star are one-sided, they do not need to be improved, they do not need to be worked on. Some people are so captivated by this love that they dream not only of meeting an idol, but also of having sex with him.
« In this case, sex is one of the most powerful ways to experience life. I explain. As a child, a person was forbidden to show emotions: “Don’t run! Behave yourself!". Growing up, he gets used to a part of his personality - not to show. It is, in a sense, atrophied. But we feel that there is something in us - and we want to feel it, so as not to be emotionally disabled. You can sensitize yourself by skydiving, drugs, any form of behavior that has become obsessively bulging.
Or by attributing to the actor the traits that we want to admire, we make him the only one capable of awakening the metaphorical “sleeping princess” in us. All the same, sex is always bright, emotional, pleasant - people are looking for it. And here, an overvalued idea is added.
Also, "fictitious" love frees a person from responsibility. In a real relationship, you need to work, but here you can love the way you imagined.
Here is the secondary benefit. A good example is in the absence mutual love idol, you can enjoy the feeling of doom and sadness. This, for some, is a value. (we all remember grandmothers in the clinic, boasting of their illnesses so that they would be pitied).
Also of interest is this point. Any social formation tends to obey the authorities and adopt uniform forms of behavior for the group, as if identifying with something big and strong. Examples of this are football fans, fans of actors, sects and more. When your own personality is not developed, there are no ideals and self-realization - you want to attach yourself to something that is already recognized by everyone and get from the thought - that, allegedly, you have found yourself».
What to do?
In a mild form, we are all subject to the desire to know more about a famous person. Gossip from the world of stars helps to establish communication between ordinary people. Many fans unite in groups and, discussing their favorite celebrity and her work, they receive not only a dose of gossip, but also acquire new acquaintances. Someone finds friends this way and develops relationships with them already outside the sphere of interests. Celebrities inspire us, looking at them, we ourselves become better. Thanks to the interest in a famous person, we can take off and fly to explore other countries and continents, discover new areas of activity, change our lifestyle.
But often the worship of a celebrity takes the form of an obsession and, instead of development, leads to an escape from reality.
Is it worth doing something if a loved one has fallen into such an addiction?
« I think yes. But do not confront directly. Otherwise it is an attack on ideals, on almost religious experiences. The man will fight. Worth showing alternatives - new types of hobbies, options for self-realization; love a person and give him the warmth that he is trying to find there. Understand the reason. What state does a person experience when “falling in love” with a celebrity? Or what he is avoiding in this way. By understanding this, we can satiate his emotional hunger. And with small steps to indicate that any celebrity - a common person, not ideal, may have a bunch of negative traits».
What to do if you suddenly recognize yourself in this article?
« Noticing obsession is already a big step. Without awareness, we can't. You need to ask yourself the same questions: what state do I experience falling into such an addiction? What else can give me such experiences? What am I avoiding - being in an exalted state, looking at a photo of an idol? Am I implemented? Do I have ideals that I aspire to, for which I get out of bed in the morning?»
Being in love is a wonderful feeling, but it can not only inspire a person, but also bring suffering. Especially if the object of love is a celebrity. Falling in love with a celebrity is very easy, especially if you are a dreamy, young girl, you want to love yourself and be loved. A wonderful image of a hero who seems to be far away, but so close. And this love certain moment begins to bring sadness, pain, longing.
After all, with a high degree of probability, he will never be yours.
Quite recently I received a letter, which, I confess, brought me back to the past for a while, but more on that later, and now I will give the text of the letter.
I am 18 years old, I am surrounded by guys, but no one wants to become my boyfriend, or rather, I agree to meet with a guy, but in my heart I have love for an artist, a person whom I will never see and whom many people love and who will not reciprocate. Or maybe dreams come true? What do you think? And what can you advise me in such a situation?
Unfortunately, a fairly common situation, but no less difficult. What can I advise in this situation? I see three solutions that can quite realistically help to cope with this task.
If you fell in love with a celebrity, then I see 3 options for events:
Living in fantasy and beyond
You live your life in fantasy. You miss opportunities to connect with real guys, avoid relationships with them. You don’t have relationships with men, and by the age of 30 you realize that part of your life is behind you, and you have nothing: no family, no loved one nearby, and no one loves you. The celebrity you are in love with lives its own life, or maybe no one even remembers it, the wave of popularity has passed and everyone has forgotten about the former glory.
Take the initiative in your own hands!
The second option requires some activity from you. If you fall in love with a celebrity, you need to try to get closer to the object of your crush. How can you do it? Go to a concert, for example, or join a fan club. Celebrities visit their fan clubs very often, and besides, you will always be aware of new events. It is important to understand here that your task is to get closer to the object of your adoration, to talk to him. Most likely, you will understand from the first seconds whether this is your man or not.
Create a portrait of your ideal man!
How I survived it, what helped me and what actions I took, I will tell you right now!
I'm not saying that it will be easy for you to deal with this situation, but this does not mean at all that it is impossible. Most importantly, remember that you deserve the most best man who will carry you in his arms, warm you with his love and care. After all, you don’t know what qualities your distant chosen one actually has, is he kind, generous, or vice versa. Make every effort to find the right solution and get a chance to be happy.
Start acting today, because time passes very quickly, and you still have so many pleasant moments ahead that you must go through!
There is probably not a single very young lady who would not be in love with a star. And it's not just normal - it's absolutely right. The girl needs models to assemble a certain ideal - a man who will be interesting to her when she grows up. That is why falling in love with an actor usually grows out of falling in love with a character: the qualities of this invented man are primary, and the personality of the performer enters her dreams like a trailer. With musicians, the story is simpler: if a girl is in love with a musician, he is most likely just handsome. She has nowhere to take other handsome men, because boys in puberty are not a sight for the faint of heart. The second option is subcultural: the musician is a kind of “leader of the pack”, an icon and an example to follow. The desire to cling to an interest group is a necessary stage of growing up, this is normal. Therefore, the question "How can you fall in love with Marilyn Manson, he's a monster ?!" is the wrong question. The point is not how the musician looks, the point is that his personality and his work is the core on which the whole world of a teenager rests. Including the first crush, yes.
False Proximity Effect
But now the young lady has grown up, but she still dreams of some Bradley Cooper or an elderly Iggy Pop. Why? Because the effect of false proximity is triggered. We watch a movie or listen to music, we like it, and there is a feeling that we know everything about a celebrity, that this person is very close to us. The point here is that the character is definitely talented, since he is a celebrity, and the gift is the very quality that fascinates everyone without exception. We are ready to forgive a talented person a lot, even if we know that he is actually a rare mouflon. In the case of stars, we simply spread the talent to the personality as a whole, and it seems to us that the idol is perfect in everything. And even if the tabloids later write that our little baby left his wife and seven children, spat in the face of a fan or got stoned and went for a walk with a dead badger on his head, we will still protect him. He just has a difficult period, and in general, leave behind the genius, miserable townsfolk!
Creation of an idol
There is an opinion that we are initially inclined to create an idol, since we are social animals. As a matter of fact, this is how it is: any pack of highly developed animals has a leader, whom the younger generation imitates, and those who have already grown up want cubs from him or her. Man has not only instincts, but also a mind that has ensured our survival. At some point, brute force gave way to skills and abilities, and we stopped obeying (and imitating) a physically strong and aggressive individual, replacing him with a brainy individual. Well, the one who didn’t know how to fill up a mammoth, but he knew how to divide the carcass of this same mammoth for everyone, and from other offal to make things useful in the household. Today, this niche has been occupied by the stars: simply because they are the same people that we constantly see, firstly; and secondly, several million of our sisters fell in love with this comrade before us. He's great, that's for sure! They can't all be wrong, can they?
Everyone will die, and I am an emerald
Another unexpected version sounds like this: we fall in love with celebrities because we are afraid of death. Popularity seems to provide a kind of eternal life for a person. Old Elvis is alive, Freddie-our-all-Mercury is also alive, "Tsoi is alive in our hearts", and in honor of Lennon, the Moscow metro was secretly renamed a long time ago. Millions of people remember their idols every day, and we have the illusion of the presence of a deceased person. How did he die? Yes, here he is jumping around the stage and whipping port wine - everyone would die like that! That is, with the mind we understand that there is no person, but the image that has not disappeared anywhere provides a feeling of post-life. We fall in love with a person who does not exist, and as if we are taking away a piece of immortality for ourselves. In any case, our consciousness quietly whispers that there, beyond the line, we will not be so scared - in another world, Cobain, Vysotsky and Gorshok simply have to hang out, otherwise why is it all, why are we all, why is life at all?
Curiosity is not a vice
Well, one cannot ignore the fact that we are all extremely greedy for the mysterious and unknown. And this, by the way, is also a mechanism built into us by nature and ensuring our survival. The more inaccessible and mysterious the personality, the more we are drawn to it. If this person is also handsome - that's it, the love of millions is guaranteed to him. Look at Keanu Reeves at least. A very strange friend. The same reeves walk past us every day, but these eccentrics are accessible to us, and therefore they are completely uninteresting - well, they are some kind of knocked down ones. But Keanu is probably not just sitting on a bench in a homeless suit! It means something! Something extraordinary, of course, because he himself is extraordinary. Everything, the mechanism worked, love was born and grows. Although in fact this same Reeves is an ordinary uncle with oddities. Although no. We don't even believe in it. Reeves is a miracle, we tell you for sure. Mm, our beauty...
